Sometimes, I look at myself in the mirror and wonder: Why am I so nice to people? It is a simple question that I cannot find a simple answer to. I've been thinking (probably too much) lately on the answer to why. Here are a few of my many thoughts:
As a friend, I've always helped those closest to me. The assistance may take the form of 'counselling' to helping get ready for a job interview, to teaching a topic to someone, to helping them with relationships, confidence and even goal setting. While I might not be repaid, I still give it my 110% when helping. I think I do it for a few reasons.
1. That what friends do! I care, and love my friends. I WANT to see them succeed in life, and will try my darnest to give them the tools to do so. While the pen is in their hands, I can still give them a pretty darn good pen to write with.
2. Personal feelings: I guess besides just feeling like a good Samaritan I guess I also have that 'feeling' that I should do it.
3. What am I doing? Sometimes I forget about myself and can throw myself under a bus for others (hopefully not literally!) But why? Why help someone that might not repay, or even WANT to stay in my life? I guess its just I love people... The worst feeling is feeling alone, and I guess I don't want people to leave me. Probably one of my biggest traits about me is integrity. I want the truth, and honesty to win in all situations. I want people to stay in my life, because they are beautiful, smart and caring people too.
4. Its my way of saying I love it that you are in my life: Just like many other humans, I want to be able to show how much people mean to me. While everyone has their own way of showing this, I feel as if my 'good deeds' are my way of showing these feelings.
I guess this is the reason why sometimes I can appear 'too nice' or become 'instantly friend zoned ' While it really sucks a lot of the time, I shouldn't change who I am for another person, but I will admit, sometimes it is hard.
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